All I Can Say

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I was closed off in a dark cabin of depression when my brother texted me the name of a song I should listen to. These were the days when I wanted help, but at the same time, spurned people’s advances to help. Nothing could break this sealed tight void in my life. Which is exactly what depression is, a lonesome cabin where no one or thing can reach you.

 

The song went like this, “this is all that I can say right now, this is all that I can give and that’s my everything,” and he sent me this song because I told him not a cell in my body wanted to kneel in prayer. All the church folks had told me that when I was sad, God was close, that I should feel so blessed when I was down down down, because the scriptures say God is near to the broken hearted. So at the time, it seemed even God couldn’t come to this cabin.

 

The song is sung in a heartbreaking melody of one that is despairing and there is no God in sight. He knows he should be offering up some pretty prayer instead of sulking, but he can’t. This is all He can say.

 

And in a beautiful way, it brought me forward on my knees, brought the words out that this is All I Can Say. And little by little, it made me feel less alone.

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5minutefridayThis post is part of one of the most refreshing link ups I have found. It’s an exercise in free writing where you set the timer and write for five minutes on the particular prompt of the day. Today’s prompt is: Song and I just knew I had to try it. I am shocked by how much I loved it. Check out some of the other posts linked up or contribute one yourself here.

  • Wow! Thanks for speaking your heart on what it feels like to be so hopeless. Many people do not realize the harsh realities of depression. Such an encouragement to know that you were able to fight through the fog with the words of a song!

    • registeredrunaway

      Thank you so much. It was amazing to see how a song could cut through all of it.

  • Ford1968

    Romans 8:26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.

    Yep. Been there. In such despair I can’t even form a prayer. Love this verse.

    • registeredrunaway

      Thank you, as always Ford, (also, haven’t forgotten about you. Will be replying hopefully soon. So thankful for your friendship!)

  • This was so beautifully written. So glad you linked up!

    • registeredrunaway

      Thank you Stacy! This link up is really refreshing. Found it from Steph at http://www.everydayawe.com. So happy I did!

  • So glad you joined Five Minute Friday and shared this beautiful post – God has often used songs to soften my heart to His leading, His truth, when my flesh would rather stay standing than kneel once more. You aren’t alone 🙂

    • registeredrunaway

      Thank you Crystal 🙂

  • Beautiful post, and so true. Sometimes it’s so hard to hit our knees when we already feel at rock bottom, when you wonder what a prayer will really do and if there’s any power left in them. Thank you for sharing!

    • registeredrunaway

      Thank you Marcy!