Over the past month fall has been coming in slow in DC, but today, for some reason, it has finally, all at once arrived. I can’t stop staring at everything outdoors.
The last few weeks have been pretty big for me. I celebrated National Coming Out Day by coming out myself and revamping the site. I didn’t, and I won’t, post any links on my Facebook and there are many reasons for that, very intimate ones. But mainly, I came out to my readers. I came out to you. I’ve never wanted to be the person that comes out on Facebook, because it is SO MUCH ALL AT ONCE and hardly allows for any meaningful space to talk. The stress of it would be way more than I can take right now and I thank you all for respecting that. I thank you for supporting me! Your emails, DMs, comments have been so deeply encouraging. Thank you.
In the chance that through a couple degrees of separation, someone from my Real Life found my blog and they didn’t know what to say or think, whether or not to call me, I wrote this post (my brother texted me the next morning saying it was his favorite of anything I’ve written.) I think it’s important to come out with a heavy burden of grace toward others, that’s what I tried to do in that post.
I’ve also talked a little the other day about working in the center where worlds collide, the Hardware Store. Where we not so wealthy workers serve the citizens of one of the wealthiest counties in America. My head has been spinning with all the writing material this experience has provided me.
It has been a hard month of decisions. I’ve had a few interviews that were iffy, leaving with a small sure hope that I wouldn’t get the job. What the? Why? Because I don’t belong here. At least not right now. I miss Minnesota and who knows, maybe when I get home and get my fill of familiar and family and friends, I’ll miss here, but, as my dad recently said on the phone, “You’ll have to figure out what you want, but it sounds like you know.” I think I do.
Other than those decisions, I’ve given Hulu quite a bit of my time this month, soaking in all the drama of shows like Scandal, the absurd (and suddenly vanished?) Parks and Rec, the spine- chilling sage of The Walking Dead, the most relatable- undeniably beautiful, Parenthood, the FOX shows New Girl and The Mindy Project and last, but certainly not least, the show that stole my heart long, long ago, The Voice. I’ve never really been a fan of Christina Aguilera despite her being one of the strongest singers on the planet, but recently, she’s softened on me. There seems to be a genuine interest from her to invest into her team (although, I may just be naive to fancy tv editing and the 12.5 MILLION DOLLARS she gets paid to be on the Voice this season.)
Her team is clearly leading the pack though. Especially with Matthew Schuler on it who gave one the best performances I have ever seen on TV. Watched this 20 times now, it’s been stuck in my head for days.
Additionally, I haven’t really talked about this before, but now that I’m not anonymous, I can name-drop my BROTHER MATT. K, he’s not actually famous, but he was once one of the top one hundred contestants on The Voice (that is 100 out of the 100,000 that tried out.) He lived in LA for a few months after being accepted on the show. He was interviewed by Carson Daly and gave a solo performance before Mark Burnett (producer of Survivor, The Bible, other shows), but on the fourth and final night of the blind auditions, as he waited patiently backstage for his shot, and then all the teams filled up. AND THEN he came home to find out I was GAY, which perhaps swung him back into the gritty reality of life, out of the ritzy Hollywood lifestyle he’d been leading. I probably saved him from becoming a prima donna.
Here’s a music video of his (with his wife Lauren who sings with him) if you’re interested, you can buy his music on iTunes.
I finished Richard Wright’s, Black Boy, a powerful memoir on finding your identity beneath a system wishing to squelch it out of you, or paint it with shame, make you believe that that part of you makes you less than. I give it five stars easily. One of my favorite quotes:
“Our too-young and too-new America, lusty because it is lonely, aggressive because it is afraid, insists upon seeing the world in terms of good and bad, the holy and the evil, the high and the low, the white and the black; our America is frightened of fact, of history, of processes, of necessity. It hugs the easy way of damning those whom it cannot understand, of excluding those who look different, and it salves its conscience with a self-draped cloak of righteousness”
I’ve also been into anthologies and being poor, I can’t really afford to buy any of them so I’ve been going to the bookstore Politics and Prose and sitting and reading through books like The Best Nonrequired Reading and journals like the Paris Review. On my nook, the book Children Playing Before the Statue of Hercules was only $1.99, so I spoiled myself with that one, which includes such great voices as Alice Munro, Flannery O’Conner (personal favorite), Tobias Wolf and others. For the light reader whose attention span seems to be deteriorating, this book is your cure.
Lastly, I’ve been into photos and videos of my funny little nephew Wyatt who is sprouting up like a weed these days. He just learned to sit up on his own without face planting into the ground, my brother and sister-in-law were buoyed by such pride that they decided it was time that he slept in his own room (we are not unified on this decision). But, hopefully, he’ll pick up on the joy of independence, makes the space his own. I said a little prayer for him his first night, still unsure of how it all went.
Here’s the little slobbering mess that is my nephew. He is better than all of you.
Linking up with Leigh Kramer today for her always enjoyable “What I’m Into” link up.
What have you been into?